Yo, listen up, folks! Today, I gonna tell ya ’bout this here brick oven pizza stove thing. It’s like, you know, for makin’ them pizzas outside. Ain’t nothin’ like a good pizza, I tell ya. And this brick oven pizza stove, you can make pizza at home. This is a good thing, you know. Good pizza at home.
First off, you gotta get some bricks. Lots and lots of ’em. Red ones, you know, like they use for houses. Don’t be using them old, crumbly ones. Gotta be strong, like my old man used to be. Then, you gotta find a place to put this whole shebang. Out back, probably, near the patio. Away from the house, ’cause it gets hot, real hot. Like a summer day in July, that oven. This brick oven pizza stove, it can cook pizza real good. You just need find a good place for it.
Now, you gotta dig a hole. Not too deep, mind you. Just enough to set some stones in. Like makin’ a foundation, they call it. Gotta be level, too. Don’t want your pizza oven leanin’ like a drunk on a Saturday night. After that, you lay down some concrete. Mix it up real good, like thick gravy. Pour it in the hole, smooth it out. Let it dry. This is important, gotta let it dry. Can’t rush these things, you know. Brick oven pizza stove need a good foundation, you know. Like a house. A good house.
- Get them bricks.
- Dig a hole. Not too deep.
- Pour some concrete. Make it smooth.
- Let it dry real good.
Then comes the fun part – stackin’ them bricks. One on top of the other, like buildin’ a little wall. But round, you see. Like a big ol’ beehive. Gotta leave a hole in the front, though. That’s where the fire goes. And a little hole up top, for the smoke to get out. Gotta think about these things. You don’t want no smoke in your face when you’re cookin’. And the fire, oh boy, that fire needs to breathe, you know? So you gotta build this brick oven pizza stove right. Or your pizza will be not good. No good pizza is bad, you know. Better than no pizza, but still bad.
You gotta use that mortar stuff, too. Like glue for bricks. Keeps ’em all together. Spread it on thick, like butter on toast. But not too thick. Just right. It’s a feelin’ you get, after a while. Like makin’ biscuits, you just know when the dough is right. Same with this mortar. You will know. Don’t worry.
Keep stackin’ them bricks, higher and higher. Makin’ that dome shape. It’s tricky, I ain’t gonna lie. But you can do it. Just take your time. One brick at a time. Like eatin’ an elephant, one bite at a time. That’s what my old grandpa used to say. He was a smart man. Not like these young’uns today, with their fancy phones and such. They wouldn’t know a brick oven if it hit ’em in the face. But this brick oven pizza stove, this is the real deal. This is how you make good pizza. Like in the old country.
- Stack them bricks like a beehive.
- Use that mortar stuff, like glue.
- Leave a hole for the fire.
- And a hole for the smoke.
Once you got that dome built, you gotta let it dry. Again with the dryin’! But it’s important. Gotta let that mortar set up good and strong. Otherwise, your oven might fall apart. And then where would you be? No pizza, that’s where. And a pile of bricks. Nobody wants that. So you wait. You can make some other food while you wait. But not pizza. Because you need this brick oven pizza stove for pizza.
After it’s all dry, you can build a fire inside. Start small, you know. Just some kindlin’ and twigs. Get it goin’ good, then add some bigger pieces of wood. Oak is good, if you got it. Burns hot and long. Just like you want. You want that oven to get real hot. Hotter than a hen in a fox house. That’s how you cook them pizzas. Fast and hot. That fire, it is important. Without fire, you can not cook pizza in this brick oven pizza stove. Fire is important. Like water. You need fire.
Now, this whole thing, it ain’t cheap. Bricks cost money. Mortar costs money. Concrete, too. And your time, that’s worth somethin’, ain’t it? I know some folks, they buy them fancy pizza ovens. All metal and shiny. But it ain’t the same. A real pizza, it’s gotta be cooked in a brick oven. Like this one. It just tastes better. Gets that smoky flavor. Crust all crispy. Oh, it’s good, I tell ya. So, you know, if you have money, you can buy one. But if you make this brick oven pizza stove, you will have more money. For other things. Like more pizza.
So there you have it. How to build a brick oven pizza stove. It ain’t easy, but nothin’ worth havin’ is. And trust me, a good pizza, cooked in your own brick oven, it’s worth it. You’ll be the talk of the town. Or at least the talk of your backyard. You can have all your friends come. Eat pizza. They will say, this is good pizza. And you will say, yes, I know. I made this brick oven pizza stove. And they will be happy. You will be happy. Everyone will be happy. Because of pizza.
Now, go on, get to buildin’! And don’t forget the cheese. Gotta have good cheese for a good pizza. Don’t you forget that. Cheese is good. Like pizza. Like this brick oven pizza stove. It is good, too. Very good.
